Saturday, 25 October 2014

30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 6: What Am I Afraid Of

Afraid. Big word. Haha. 

Seriously. There are lots of things I am afraid of. Like, I am afraid to grow old simply because I'm afraid to lose one of my teeth and replace it with the fake ones or worse, to replace it with nothing. I'm also absolutely terrified of heights. It's actually one of my biggest fears. When I'm standing above the building and I am almost touching the sky, I can't even look below cause I always imagine that I might fall. I'm also afraid of different animals like birds, chickens, ducks, mouse, hamster, rabbit, crocodiles and snakes, to mention some.  I was afraid of ghosts before, but nowadays I can manage my fear because at my age, I didn't see any, yet (but I'm not hoping nor asking to see one either) and I guess they will not dare to bother me with their presence. I simply know. What else? I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm just afraid of what might be in there. But whatever it is, I think I'm prepared to see it. LOL

On a serious note, one thing I'm afraid of is being too happy. Because I'm afraid of what's going to happen next after having too much happiness. I don't know when this fear has started, but, I just feel. Before if all of my wishes was to be totally happy, now, I'm always having a second thought if that would still be my wish. I think what I wanted now is merely to be contented with whatever there is. If before I'm always asking for too much, now, I just realized that what if I got it, what will I'm going to lose in return of that. So, now I am practicing to put a limit on everything that I desire and simply ask for something that I know will not be too much. I am starting to learn the art of appreciation, just whatever it is that I have, I should be grateful and not to ask for much. I am also afraid of having a new person coming into my life before someone might going to leave. Because there's a part of me that is asking, why were they're here and who would it be that they're going to replace. Seriously. Am I too deep with this one? Or am I just overly paranoid? But did you get what I'm trying to convey? 

Those were some of the things I'm most afraid to happen. Perhaps because after my father left us too sudden, I just realized those things. After a couple of months that he left, I just had lots of realizations. Possibly, since then, I started to develop the fear that I have. 

So when asked about anything that I am afraid of, if before I'm going to say something that I might going to witness or experience. Now, it will be about something I'm going to feel and something I'm going to have. 

***credits to and to the respective owners of the photos that I used above, Pinterest and*** 

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