Wednesday, 4 November 2015

MeMa (Me Masabi lang)

Minsan kailangan natin maging manhid
Minsan kailangan natin maging bato
Minsan kailangan natin maging matapang
Minsan kailangan natin maging matatag
Minsan kailangan natin mahalin ang sarili natin
Minsan kailangan natin sundin ang sinisigaw ng puso at isip natin
Minsan kailangan natin gawin kung ano gusto natin
Minsan kailangan natin unahin ang sarili natin
Minsan kailangan natin piliin kung saan tayo mas sasaya

Minsan kailangan natin mapag-isa
Minsan kailangan natin mag-drama

Tanong ko lang
Gaano kadalas ang minsan?

Monday, 12 October 2015

Game Over


In the past three years I've been in a constant battle of trying to enter in a world where I thought I belong. I guess it's really not meant for me.  It took me countless rejections and disappointments before I decided leave it behind and move forward. To be honest, it was just about last night that I decided to move on. It was a tough decision, but I have to do it for myself. It's one way to be genuinely happy and to live my life fully without any excess baggage. I have to free myself from all the burdens that I had for the past three years.

Today, October 12, 2015 is a good day for me to start all over again. Since it's Monday, a brand new week had just started. I'm leaving everything to God, all the burdens and the discomfort. I'm still in the process of moving on and coping up. Surely, it might take a while before I totally accept the fact, but here's the thing, I'm starting with the process. It was hard, but I have to.

I'm done with all the disappointments, frustrations and rejections. I am now moving forward with the desire of leaving all the unnecessary belongings of my life. I need to do this. I need to be strong. I need to be mature enough to accept that everything I want will not be given to me. It's really hard to stay positive when things are falling apart. I need to succeed with this. For the second time around, I need to tell myself that "I made it" once again.

All I'm asking is that the God above will guide me all throughout the process, just like what he always does. His plans, not mine.

Moving forward.
Keeping the faith.
Life goes on.
Living the life.
Let's do this.
Let's start all over again.


"But now I’m…
Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I’m stronger"

Friday, 4 September 2015

Farewell

When was the last time I wrote here on my blog site? Can't remember? I'm writing this now because this would be my farewell blog. Yes, I'm leaving this blog site and will be replacing with the new one. I will be leaving this site 'cause I want a fresh start where there would be less drama and just focus on the positive side of life. A new perspective where I can only see the silver lining of everything.

So, what now? 

The past years had been one unexpected ride. Years after I graduated from college, three years to be exact. (Sige na nga, magtatagalog na, di na mapanimdigan eh.) 

Ilang months before I graduated from college, pinlano ko na ang mga mangyayari sa buhay ko. Tipong siguradong-sigurado ako na mangyayari lahat ng pinlano ko. Sabi ko, magpapahinga ako ng ilang buwan bago ako maghanap ng trabaho. Sabi ko mga dalawa,tatlong buwan okay na. Tapos ayon, grumadweyt. Masaya, sarap sa pakiramdam ng makatapos. Di ako nag-antay ng dalawa o tatlong buwan bago ako mag-apply, kasi ang mga kaibigan ko ay nag-aya nang mag-apply. Sumama naman ako agad. Ayon, God knows everything that happened sa unang sabak namin sa pag-aapply kasama ang dalawa kong kaibigan. Wagas yong nilakad namin despite the kainitan, nagkapaltos na ang talampakan ko sa paglakad. Pero masaya kasi di naman ako nag-iisa kasi nga kasama ko naman yong dalawa kong kaibigan at masaya naman sila kasama, kaya kahit pagod, tawa pa din. So ayon. To cut the story short, day after namin mag-apply, me interview na kaagad kami. Pero, walang interview na naganap, kasi ang tagal nong interviewer at hindi kami ganon ka-patient sa pag-aantay. Three hours din kaya kami nag-antay. Di na biro yon ha. Tapos yon, again, I'll just cut the story at its shortest. Eventually, yong tatlo kong kaibigan may mga kanya-kanya ng trabaho. Ako? Matapos ang di mabilang-bilang na interviews, (take note, may mga di pa ako pinuntahan don ha) up to this time, heto pa rin, nag-aabang ng himala. Kahit sabi ni Ate Guy, "walang himala." But, who knows? 

Matapos akong ma-reject ng di mabilang- bilang, sumuko na si ako. Dumating ako sa point na, ya-eh na, bahala na. Siguro di ko destiny ang pahirapan, siguro pang-bahay lang talaga ako, pang-buhay prinsesa lang siguro talaga ako. Tipong kain-tulog-internet. Hayahay ang buhay. Bakit? Nakakasawa na din kasi ma-reject ng ma-reject. Nakakaiyak. Nakakasawang umasa. Okay na sakin yong pagod eh, pero yong sakit sa damdamin, nakakaumay i-take. Last interview na pinuntahan ko, sabi ko sa sarili ko,last na yon. Kapag di pa ako nakapasa don, ayoko na talaga, suko na ako. At talaga nga namang tinest ni Lord kung gaano ako ka-committed don sa sinabi kong yon. Di nga talaga ako nakapasa. After nong interview ko na yon na-stress ako ng bongga. Tipong umiyak ako isang tanghali na hindi ko alam kung bakit. Kumakain ako ng tanghalian kaharap ko si mother iyak na iyak ako. Di ko naman alam kung bakit. Malapit na sa pagiging Sisa. Gusto ko naman nong tumigil na sa pag-iyak kasi para na akong tanga, wala namang nakakaiyak, iyak na iyak ako pero anong magagawa ko ayaw talaga huminto nong luha eh. Buti na nga lang walang nagtanong sa akin non kung bakit ako umiiyak kasi ako mismo sa sarili ko, di ko din alam kung bakit. Tapos yon, dumating yong point na ayaw ko nang nababakante yong utak ko kasi ayoko nang mag-isip. Nagsusulat ako non ng kung anu-ano para lang ma-divert yong utak ko sa iba. Kapag gabi naman, nuod ng pelikula bago matulog para yong utak ko hindi gumagana kundi naka-focus lang sa pinapanuod ko. Masaya pala. Masaya ng walang iniisip na kung ano. Yong di nag-iisip kung san sunod na mag-aapply. Masaya sya. Kain-tulog-internet, choosy pa ba ako? Siguro talaga nakatadhana lang akong maging isang prinsesa. Hahaha. But, seriously, eto  kasi yong isa sa mga ways kung pano ko pagaanin yong loob ko. Sabi ko nga, tsaka na ulit siguro ako maghahanap ng trabaho kapag ready na ulit akong ma-reject. Pero sana naman, tapos na ako sa phase ng rejection, sana next chapter na, please. Next chapter which is acceptance. 

Pero syempre, hindi naman tungkol lang sa paghahanap ng trabaho ang buhay ko. May iba pang components na bumubuo. Minsan, feeling ko ang blessed ko, yong blessings ni Lord siksik, liglig at umaapaw pa. Napapatanong na lang ako, "ha?bakit?bakit ako me ganto?Sobra na ata?" At nagpapa-salamat na lang ako kay Lord. At me mga pagkakataon din naman na mapapasabi din ako na, "Buti pa sya. Ang galing naman nya. Ako kaya, when will be my time to shine?" Well, ganyan lang ang buhay. Di perfect. Nasa iyo na lang kung papaano mo lalaruin. 

Wala akong kontrol sa mga nangyayari at mangyayari pa sa buhay ko. Kahit gaano ko pa planuhin ang buhay ko, may kanyang will si Lord. Ang meron lang akong kontrol ay don sa nararamdaman ko. 

About a year ago, I only had more than a hundred page views, and one of my birthday wishes last year was to reach a thousand views. And I had my birthday wish granted by then. Now, I have more than one thousand page views (1386 page views to be exact) for my 39 posts.

Three days from now, I will be entering my 24th year of existence. I will soon be on my 24th year and yet, I don't have a clear vision of my future, of where I really wanna be. I read it on one of the blog sites that ages between 20-30 years old are the age of confusion. You really have no idea about what you really wanted with your life. And so am I. 

So this will be my farewell blog.

Thank you for all the views. Just check on my newly created site (but without post yet) for my soon-to-be new adventures. Just check renbunquin97.blogspot.com , with my new blog title, "C'est La Vie" which means "that's life" and with a description "Un nouveau d├ępart" meaning, "a fresh start."

This has been Reegyna Bunquin, now signing off.

Thank you.


I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me
Leave the past behind me, today my life begins
A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the takin
I know I can make it, today my life begins

Friday, 27 February 2015

Hilo, Lito, Ako

Nalilito, nalilito
ako ngayon ay lito.
Ano nga ba ang dapat sundin?
Ang sinasabi ng damdamin?
O ang isipan na hindi alam ang saloobin?

Sabi ng isip, "sige, bakit hindi mo subukan?"
Ngunit itong puso ay madaming agam-agam. 

Ano nga ba ang dapat sundin?
Ang isipan na nag-aasam?
O ang pusong ayaw nang masaktan?

Hindi kaya marahil ay napagtanto na ang kasagutan sa tanong. 
Ngunit nangangamba pa lamang kasi maaring hindi ito ang naaayon.

Ano nga ba ang mas matimbang?
Ang isip na umaasa?
O ang pusong pagod nang umasa?

Desperado ka lang bang talaga o may mithiin ka talagang maganda.

Sa mundong walang kasiguradohan
Ano ang iyong pinanghahawakan?

Ito na ba ang matagal mo nang hinihintay?
O ito ay magiging  parte din lamang ng isang paglalakbay?

Kung ano man ang magiging desisyon
Sana ito ay naaayon
Hindi lamang sa isip na naglalayon
Bagkos ay ang puso, sana din ay sumang-ayon.

Hilo, lito at ako.
Ako ngayon ay hilo at lito.
 

Sunday, 18 January 2015

Under The Weather

Dear Self,

Stop acting like the one who's always been hurt. Stop acting like every word of people around you was thrown solely just for you. Always remember that not everything is all about you. There comes a point where you will be hit by the words of people. Sometimes it's inevitable to think that, maybe, it's really meant for you. But, keep this in mind, people might utter the words that they don't really mean. When you hear something that hurts you, don't be paranoid to think that those words were intended just for you. As long as there's no exact mentioning of your name, it's not about you. Simple as that. Don't let every words affect your mood. Act as if you did not hear anything. 

Just remember these things:
Not everything is all about you.
And
Always choose your battles.

Don't let other people affect you. Don't invest even just the smallest portion of your brain into something that is not worth investing your time and effort. Don't create problems that wasn't even there. Okay? Simple as that. Smile and don't let them bother you. They're not worth it. :) Okay?

Love,
Yourself

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Two-Zero-One-Four


                                   



2014 has officially ended. The year of the wooden horse had been an amazing chapter to me. I cried so hard, the same way that I laugh so hard. 

This year made me realize lots of things. This year got me closer to the person that I think God intended me to be. 

The first few months of this year started well. And as I continue browsing through the other pages, I've seen some torn out pages that I still need to find the missing pieces.  I've seen some folded pages that dare me to unfold it. As I unfolded some pages, there are some that made me regret opening it, but, eventually, I've come to a point where I thanked myself for having the courage to unfold it. I can escape that page and prompt to the next page that was already open, but, moving on to the next page, I might leave out something good. Who knows, that folded pages were the ones that contained the best part of the story. 

365 pages were all read and another 365 pages are starting to unfold. But, before going on to the next chapter, let me just share with you some learnings and realizations that I had throughout the entire 2014.

FAMILY
   Of course, family always comes first. They are the ones who annoy you without them even knowing it. And at the same time, you can be annoying to them, in a ways you didn't know. That's exactly how it goes. They can be sometimes irritating to you, but you can also be irritating to them. Simple logic. After all, whose family is perfect? But at the end of the day, they are still the ones who you desire to be with. You will get sad if they are sad, and you will feel happy once you hear them laugh, an indication that they are happy. They are still the ones who you want to share laughter with. The ones you want to partake in the best times of your life.  The ones who occupy the biggest part of your heart and plays a vital part of your life. Without them, I am nothing and nowhere. That's just how it works. Exactly like what I have read somewhere, "you can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family." Families are there to make you the person God wants you to be. This year, one thing I learned is that, it is not always about me. It is not always about what I feel. I should also be sensitive to the people around me. Another thing is that, I should choose carefully the battles that I'm going to take, or I should choose carefully all the thoughts that I'm going to let inside my mind. I should not waste my time thinking and creating problem that wasn't even there, in the first place. Your friends may leave, but your family will forever be there. 

   This year, it made me closer to God, and trust Him genuinely. A year where I discovered who and what really matters. 

   Throughout this year, it made me realize that I should do something not because it is easy, but because, it's the proper thing to do. We always learn through the hard way. That's what makes a great sailor, sailing through rough ocean. 

   
FRIENDS
   Friends are the kind family that you choose to be with. Some stick around while some went away and you cannot control their decisions. You hold no control over anyone. You cannot force them into something that you're the only one who wanted it in the first place. You are now on your own different worlds. As I browse on the news feed on my Facebook account, I read something that was truly a little bit under the weather. "Sometimes, we need to appreciate the presence of our friends, whether we see them often or talk at times.. cause one day when you look back and see this picture, you will realize they've left you with another set of friends and they found new set of friends," I've read this from my cousin.  And, the quotation says it all. I've discovered how to be happy in my own little way. I discovered that going on a movie house and watching a movie alone isn't that bad. I found out how to create my own sunshine for some point of time. 


CAREER
   "If it's not meant to be, it wouldn't be," no matter how hard I pray and try. I constantly pray to have a job. It's tough to admit, but, every time I saw my former classmates having their own work, earning their own money, buying something that they want and going to different places, I get jealous of them and made me question myself, "when will I'm going to get my dreams come true?" But, eventually, I have learned how to just let things go and trust God that He is currently preparing me for something big. I'm an impatient person and He wants to teach me the art of "patience." I should not hurry into anything. When the time is right, I'm going to get everything that I hoped for, but, not now. Everything in God's perfect timing. I learned how to live in the moment and take one step at a time. I'm still young and I should be living the best time of my life. I should not stress myself out in obtaining a job. The time will come that the job I'm looking for will be the one looking for me. That's the spirit, right? I'm just too fed up with piles of rejections. It made me appreciate more everything and everyone around me, which I did less from the past. I just find it amazing that the best time of my life does not happen yet. It made me look forward to waking up each and every day reckoning that, that day might be my lucky day. 

LIFE (Overall) 
   I remember I wrote it on one of my journals, because I am writing there every year about the things that I want to have or achieve. And I wrote there, not to expect anything and simply go with the flow. At first, I thought I won't be able to make it happen, because I'm really a woman full of expectations. But, eventually, I never knew that I'm beginning to live by that  mantra. It's actually a good reminder for my whole lifetime that I should strictly follow. It's a good thing not to expect anything from anyone. I merely want to be surprised with everything. And as I was browsing on the last few pages left, surprisingly, I received things that I never expected. I never asked to have those things, nor invest to buy it. But, to my surprise, through someone, God rewarded me with those things. Through that, it made me think that, perhaps, I did something good from the past that made me have and deserve those things. Therefore, I guess, I should continue doing lots of good things, not because I want something in return. But, because, it's right thing to do and I am making Him happy by doing good things.


I should not conceive of doing something in favor of anyone or in favor of myself, instead, I should do it for Him. 


2014, thank you for a wonderful year. It is indeed a one roller coaster ride. You made me cry, but you also made me laugh. Thank you for making me realize that life truly doesn't have to be perfect. We have no control over anything. We can only plan things, but we have no assurance that it would come to reality. It is not bad to feel sad once in a while. It is not the situation that make us sad, it is how we react with different situation that life throws us. It's only about a matter of perspective. It's how we see things and how we let them affect us. 

To some, they call 2014 the "Year of the Wooden Horse," for me, 2014 is the "Year of Realization and Appreciation."

So... 2105, I'm more than ready for you, let's get it on. Let's see what you have for me. 2015 is going to be my year, cause it's the "Year of the Sheep."

Another 365 pages to fill in. 2015, let's just enjoy each other's company. Okay??? 

One more thing. I also learned that happiness isn't something that you fake. It is a genuine feeling that will come out of your heart naturally without forcing your mind or your heart.


Tuesday, 18 November 2014

30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 30: My Hopes For My Blog



Yahoo. I'm down to my last day. (Shower confetti her)

I know that I will be able to complete this challenge, but I never thought I would be able to finish this without any absences. Hurray for me right?  

First time I wrote here was entirely because of complete boredom. My first entry here was about how to relieve stress. From the title itself you can assume that I'm really stressed that time. Those were the times that I was too down and I'm looking for something that I can divert my attention. And I saw some posts on twitter about their own blogs. And so I thought of giving it a try. 

It's really not my thing to read blogs. It was only recently that I found myself into that. I only read when I find the topic interesting. 

It was July last year when I had my first entry, then it was followed only this year. Simply because I am too lazy to write and I don't have any interesting topic to write about. And  while I was looking for for some planner layouts on Pinterest, I saw this "30 Day Blogging Challenge." So I thought of doing it.

And here.... I am down to my last day.

By doing this blog, I hope I will be able to share something and somehow be able to inspire someone out there in my own little way. I hope that through writing, I will  be able to learn some new words and eventually I will be just like some editors on magazines who possess that really good writing skills. I know I won't be able to actually be like them, I only wish to have even just 25% of their ability or even just 10%, if it's not too much to ask. I just want to be a writer and I hope that this would be the kickoff of the career that I really wanted to pursue. I hope that someone out there would notice my writings and he/she can yield me some techniques and guidelines on how to enhance my writing skills. I just really want to be a professional one.

Before, I was hoping for a hundred reads, I thought it was impossible. But, through sharing my web address, I just got more than what I asked for. Thank you to those who read my blog and I hope that I will still be able to get tons of page views. 

Thank you from the bottom of my hypothalamus glands. 



***Thank you's to: Pinterest, livelovesimple.com WeHeartIt and to the owner of the photo I used***